As leaders it is our job to give feedback and when that feedback can be negative we often choose silence instead of the truth. This can actually get us into trouble. If we have a situation that really requires honesty we must provide it. HOWEVER! That also means that we think about our words before they are spoken.
I had a member of a volunteer team that just wasn’t getting it. It was a husband and wife team and they just didn’t see the mission, or at least I didn’t think they did. So I spoke with my boss and he suggested I ask them to step down. So I did, I fired them. The issue is that I didn’t really tell them WHY they were being asked to step down.
I didn’t take the time to think about what they were or were not doing that wasn’t moving the mission forward. If I had taken the time I may have realized that they were simply in the wrong role. You see my inability to be quiet for a moment really ruined a friendship and caused 2 people to move to another church.
Speaking honestly is difficult and must be thought about very extensively! You see while we may know the words need to be spoken the way they are said can cause extensive damage. Understanding that can really help us grow as leaders.
If I had taken time to think about the issues and how we could get past them I may have stopped 2 people from being told they were bad and couldn’t serve.
Thankfully I have learned ALOT since that day and I have learned how to speak honestly with team members and ensured that when these conversations have to happen they go as smoothly as possible.
Talking with a trusted advisor will help as will thinking about the issue, what the problem is and how you hope to resolve it.
Good Luck Conflict is never easy! However you can get through it!