Reading social media today I came across an article on Learned Helplessness. You need to google it to get a full understanding however it really struck me how this might happen to our teams.
The article I read was about horses and how they often begin to ignore pain and other stressors simply because they can’t get away.
As leaders we often want our teams to work a certain way. We want to push them into a behavior that makes sense to us, the leader! We either can’t or don’t want to deal with behavior that seems outside of our norm.
We punish, belittle, even use sarcasm to get behavior we want. By doing this we often make our team become numb to their own pain. Now there are behaviors that do not go well when working with a team, however by using punishment we often get to our results faster and with little work on our part!
Take the horse for example, Duke doesn’t like pressure. (Pressure for horses means bad things and they react to that pressure). Horses also don’t like things they can’t process. Noises, shifts in their vision all cause them to spook. It is our job to get the horse to trust us to keep them safe. We do this by exposing them to these pressures and noises and by showing them that we are keeping them safe. We want them to trust us! However, some people use other methods to train their horses. They punish them, they leave them tied tightly to force the spook out of them. Horses who are trained this way learn they can’t escape and eventually become really good horses on the outside but they are no longer horses on the inside!
As leaders are we doing this to our teams? Are we tying them down to simply get behavior we want instead of teaching them to trust us. Teaching our team to trust us means we have to make difficult decisions, we have to stand up to our leadership for our teams. We then often have to go back to our teams and tell them we failed. We have to show that we aren’t perfect and that is a hard thing to do!
Think about this as you lead your teams, what if you were honest with them! What if you told them the truth that you spoke up at the last meeting but you were turned down. Or that you feel that the decision is a good one for the organization and that you support it even if it means something bad for the team?
When someone on your team works in a way that is different or in a way that maybe needs improvement, try understanding why they work that way and getting them to trust you that your way might be better?
Being a good leader isn’t about forcing people into a mold it’s about getting them to trust you and know that you have their best interest at heart!!