Tag: motivation

answers, Goals, Humility, Investing, Leadership, Potential, Team Building, teams, Uncategorized

Why words don’t always work

words

It’s not a secret that I thrive on words of affirmation! It is totally my love language and I really need them!  It’s like a high when you tell me I am doing a good job and you see value in what I am doing!

What happens when those words are delivered without sincerity?  When they are delivered without true meaning behind them?  I recently started a book called Sync or Swim (it’s amazing go read it!) You can get it on Amazon! It’s amazing (and no I don’t get anything for that)!!

The book is a fable and tells a story of a person who takes over a large organization and immediately throws a party to give awards to the team. But the awards aren’t given with any insight to the team, the team feels these are empty awards.

Today I was listening to a friend talk about some rough days at work recently.  Her director isn’t the best, and it appears her director doesn’t really understand my friend because at the end of 3 12 hour days (My friend is a nurse) she got a text saying “thank for all you do”.  My friend laughed because she knows her boss isn’t being sincere, but I would guess if you asked her boss if she meant it she’d say YES! She would probably even ask you why you are questioning her because in her head she’s being a great boss!  Wouldn’t see be surprised if someone told her she wasn’t!

As leaders it is our job to understand our team and what make each individual tick!  What motivates them and how can we make them feel valued at their job!!

This might mean words of affirmation but it also might mean coming along side someone or giving them a day off.

Taking some time to understand our team and what their concerns are means that we lead better!!

On my team recently, we were asked to help with special projects.  The teams concern is that if they do the special projects they will lose billable hours.  Billable hours have been a concern for the team as this has been the push for several years.  Now with new leadership the objectives have changed but the team hasn’t been given a chance to adjust.

Giving our teams a chance to adjust to new leaders and gaining understanding of what makes them tick, will make us all better leaders!

Happy Leading

 

Goals, horses, Humility, Investing, micromanager, Potential, Team Building, teams, Uncategorized

Making Assumptions

My amazing husband and I were in the car the other day and he was telling me about his new boss. He is excited to work for her and with her and feels she will offer more support than his previous manager.

He also told me a story about a call he took with a manager who essentially yelled at him for taking a call from home and not being in the office.  His manager politely told the other manager that he was off because his wife (me) was having emergency pelvic surgery after a bad fall from her horse. The manager apologized.. but you could tell she was holding assumptions that were simply not true.

This got me thinking about how as leaders we often make assumptions about our team based on what we think or feel or even what we’ve been told by others. Instead of investigating the idea and coming up with our own opinion we make up the story in our head ahead of time and then fail to realize that our story might not be true.

If that manager had asked instead of going right to being angry she would of learned that my husband was taking the call from the surgical waiting room while his wife was in a 6 hour surgery having pins inserted into her pelvis.

As leaders, we need to stop our assuming and make our own ideas. How many times have you taken someone’s word because they are another leader or someone we admire.  They tell us that person is bad, or lazy, or bad at their job and we take their word for it.

Instead let’s make our own opinions and stand up for that person! That person might be lazy or bad at their job or maybe there isn’t something going on and we don’t know about it.  They could be caring for a sick spouse or child or balancing older parents with the responsibilities of regular life.  Why won’t we ask whats going on, share what WE are seeing or feeling and find out what’s going on. Maybe that person was moved to a new job but they don’t really feel it’s a fit.  Maybe they don’t realize that they aren’t living up to the expectations of the job and need an adjustment.

Next instead of assuming, let’s take a breath..

 

 

answers, Goals, horses, Humility, Leadership, micromanager, Potential, Team Building, teams, Uncategorized

Looking for a fight….

How many times have we gone into a meeting or conversation or even email just knowing it’s going to be a fight to get something done!  zora fight

Yesterday was one of those days where I regret horse ownership all the way!  Zora decided she was taking herself for a walk because why not and then decided that she didn’t like her little brother who we had just moved over.  I was frazzled to say the least and annoyed with her, worried about the other horse getting hurt and being cold and all sorts of new things and frankly was just about done!

So I asked my amazing trainer for a quick lesson because I just knew that the horse was at fault, I mean she was causing me stress so it had to be all her right?? (OK wrong) As leaders we often decide way before anything that things aren’t going to go well.  And frankly I am sure non-leaders do the same thing!  We assume our clients are going to be upset before we even give them a chance! to be upset!  We go in looking for the fight.

So yesterday I saddled up my horse, again knowing it was going to be a fight because I am the human and she is only the horse!  The first words my trainer said to me “you can’t start off assuming there is going to be a fight”… huh? What? You mean she might just be OK? NO that can’t possibly be right! She’s been a brat the entire day…so of course that is going to continue..

Except it didn’t, once I let go of the idea of a fight she was amazing. Doing everything I asked and in a great way!  Now my trainer did offer some insight in case she did give me a fight, but she didn’t.

You see as leaders, when we expect the fight we often get one, so instead of thinking that this is going to be a battle expect it to go well and prepare for the fight. For example, are you delivering something later than expected, maybe it got away from you and you didn’t tell the client it was coming late.  Can you change the time? No you can’t but you can apologize and let it go.  If your client comes back with guns blazing then you can react in the way you thought through.

So often we get ourselves ready for the fight and when it doesn’t come we create it!  We decide on our own that there is going to be a fight and we push buttons either intentionally or not but they get pushed.  Our team and our clients come back swinging and we feel validated that we were ready for the fight!

Instead what if we waited, took that deep breath and decided that there wasn’t going to be a fight.  We can have a battle plan ready but not have to use it! (Interesting concept huh)

This week, take a moment and ask yourself, are you preparing for the battle or are you gearing up for the fight!  Once you realize that you are gearing up for the fight you can start preparing for battle instead!

answers, Goals, horses, Humility, Investing, Leadership, micromanager, Potential, Team Building, teams, Uncategorized

No I don’t have favorites!!

We’ve all had that one employee that we felt like we were just not clicking with! We’ve also had that one employee where we feel like they are the best.  We connect with them, we feel great leading them, even when they make mistakes we feel great!

Then there is their counterpart.. the one who shows up late, doesn’t listen, seems like they could care less about what we say and do.  We might find ourselves avoiding giving this person feedback or when we do it’s done in a more negative light.  We might push this person in meetings because we just know that they are wrong and we are right!

What if we looked at this differently?  I know I have talked about different styles of people, this includes how people feel appreciated.  You’ve probably heard of love languages but what about appreciation languages? Everyone feels valued differently… some of us want to hear we are doing a good job, or ask if they need help or even be included in projects.  For me, hearing that I am doing a good job in a meaningful way is important for me.  Others want to feel included or asked if they need help.

Instead of thinking that this person isn’t leadable or makes our life difficult what if we thought about how we can lead them differently?  Thinking about what makes them tick, and makes them feel appreciated.

This week think of the one person who just seems to rub you the wrong way, and figure out a way to connect with them.  And here’s a really easy way to do it!  Start by asking them questions about themselves!  It’s easy and I promise you might get some insights!

answers, Goals, horses, Humility, Investing, Leadership, micromanager, Potential, Team Building, teams, Uncategorized

Climbing the Insurmountable Mountain

We moved my horse to a new stall on Sunday.  The new stall allows her to be on turn out all the time.  Before I had to pay one of the guys to let her out and that meant she didn’t get out on weekends.  Now she gets out every day, it also means change which my horse HATES.  She is next to 2 mares and they don’t seem to like her either.  None of this is helping.

On Sunday she was nervous, pacing, pawing, not eating.  When I walked away she calmed down.  Yesterday she was better until I put her in the cross ties, she was terrible.  Jumpy, nervous not wanting to stand still.  I moved her over to where her buddy was and she was yawning (which means she’s totally relaxed).

So now I feel terrible, did I make the wrong choice, should I move her back and how the heck am I going to handle her being so nuts again. I felt defeated!  Like I should just give up and let her go back to where she was before.

I told my daughter that I felt sad and upset that we had done this and that I felt like I had taken 10,000 steps back. She reminded me that I only took 1 step back that she was still amazing in the arena, she stood in the other cross ties and that we had to make her new home one where she wanted to be. She essentially talked me off the ledge.

This morning I started thinking again about this mountain that I now feel like I have to climb. I wondered as leaders, how often do we see a task or person or whatever as a mountain that we just can’t seem to get up.  Do we give up on that mountain or do we stop and assess exactly where we need to be.  Do we need to get all the way to the other side of the mountain or can we simply make it to a certain point?

So often as leaders we feel that we must get all the way across in that moment instead of saying I just need to take a step forward.

Today I am going to take a step forward and get my horse to stand.  Tomorrow we’ll take another step but today we are simply moving forward!

Here’s to all my leaders!  Take a single step, you don’t have to get to the top today! You just have to move forward!!