Climbing the Insurmountable Mountain

We moved my horse to a new stall on Sunday.  The new stall allows her to be on turn out all the time.  Before I had to pay one of the guys to let her out and that meant she didn’t get out on weekends.  Now she gets out every day, it also means change which my horse HATES.  She is next to 2 mares and they don’t seem to like her either.  None of this is helping.

On Sunday she was nervous, pacing, pawing, not eating.  When I walked away she calmed down.  Yesterday she was better until I put her in the cross ties, she was terrible.  Jumpy, nervous not wanting to stand still.  I moved her over to where her buddy was and she was yawning (which means she’s totally relaxed).

So now I feel terrible, did I make the wrong choice, should I move her back and how the heck am I going to handle her being so nuts again. I felt defeated!  Like I should just give up and let her go back to where she was before.

I told my daughter that I felt sad and upset that we had done this and that I felt like I had taken 10,000 steps back. She reminded me that I only took 1 step back that she was still amazing in the arena, she stood in the other cross ties and that we had to make her new home one where she wanted to be. She essentially talked me off the ledge.

This morning I started thinking again about this mountain that I now feel like I have to climb. I wondered as leaders, how often do we see a task or person or whatever as a mountain that we just can’t seem to get up.  Do we give up on that mountain or do we stop and assess exactly where we need to be.  Do we need to get all the way to the other side of the mountain or can we simply make it to a certain point?

So often as leaders we feel that we must get all the way across in that moment instead of saying I just need to take a step forward.

Today I am going to take a step forward and get my horse to stand.  Tomorrow we’ll take another step but today we are simply moving forward!

Here’s to all my leaders!  Take a single step, you don’t have to get to the top today! You just have to move forward!!

Leadership Newsie Style

I had the opportunity to see Disney’s Newsie’s this weekend, if you haven’t seen it – go rent, watch!  It was amazing!!

The whole story is about a rag tag bunch of kids who sell newspapers (or papes) in New York.  When the boss raises the rates of papers the kids come together to try to create a union and strike.

Growing up in Flint Michigan I know the power a union can hold both positive and negative.  There was one quote that struck me especially after we talked about micromanaging before.

Catherine Plummer says “Being the boss doesn’t mean you have all the right answers, just the brain to recognize the right one when you hear it”

OK Read that out loud!  (Who cares whose lisenting!!)

Do you hear it, you, the boss don’t have to have all the answers!  WHAT? You are the boss you should have all the answers right? WRONG!

You just have to know the right one when you hear it!  Even more importantly is to help your team feel safe to provide the answers.  If you spend time asking for answers then shoot each down when you hear it, you aren’t leading you are being a bully!

Your team needs to process through the options and then they can provide the answers.  Next time there is something that needs solving ask your team for input and instead of judging each answer think about how it could work.  What could be modified to make it work?

Of course your team is going to be missing details that you may have and of course giving everyone a raise isn’t always the answer, but maybe there is something in that answer that could make change within the organization.

Good luck and Happy Leading

Stop IT!

This is going to be a bit different than my normal blogs, but it still has a leadership message. This is geared toward my lady followers!  Men don’t seem to have as much an issue with this!  Ladies, still with me? Ok good!

So I am going to show my age, but who remembers the Bob Newhart show? Ok how about the episode where he tells the women to Stop it or he’ll bury her alive in a box? Seriously go check it out, I’ll wait! Here’s a link

Bob Newhart As Brief Therapist: “Stop It!”

OK  are you back?  Good, here is are my 5 words that will make you an amazing leader

STOP TEARING OTHER WOMEN DOWN!

Seriously, it’s that freakin simple! You see I spoke with a young woman today who is a leader in her field.  She’s 24, and yes, she’s made mistakes, but she’s got her own business and she’s freakin kickin (you know what)

She told me today that she was going to a place where the women would tear her down because something very simple.  In an effort to protect her I am not going to share the details, but seriously, they are going to tear her down because WHAT?

Ladies, as women in leadership it is our job to raise up other women leaders. We need to invest in each other, we need to build each other up!  We need to NOT tear each other down.  This young woman is an amazing leader who is investing in other young women!  And yet here we are making her feel small so we feel big?! WHAT???

Seriously if you have to make someone feel small so you feel big, what is that?  You are not a leader, if you feel that you have to make others feel small.  This isn’t leadership! Leadership is building each other up, helping each other navigate life.

I am not saying that we should be fake, I am saying that we should support.  Speak truth in love when needed and support. But when we get petty ladies it makes us all look bad!

This week! Your job is to find a female leader and TELL her how much admire her and why!  Build her up, tell her she makes a difference and then when someone around you tears another woman down, stand up for her!  We can make a difference.

Is this the hill you want to die on?

I am one of those people who just wants to be right!  (Ask my family they will confirm this!) However as a leader it becomes a bit of a dicey thing if you push to be right no matter what.  Recently I got into a disagreement with a co-worker about something so trivial.  However, I ‘knew’ I was right!  OK So I was right and she was wrong, BUT what I did by pushing my ‘rightness’ may have harmed a relationship that needs to be cared for.

You see my being right or my being wrong really didn’t matter in the long run. It simply was something that I wanted to win in the moment, however doing so could of caused me to harm the relationship I have with that person. As leaders we have to ask ourselves if this is the hill we want to die on.

You see by asking ourselves how much does this really matter (is this the hill I want to die on) we can really determine if this is something that is really important. Sometimes the answer might be yes, and guess what THAT IS OK! However asking yourself that question gives you a pause to really see if this is a battle you want to win.

I struggle with conflict, so for me I really have to ask the question and then ask again.  For me, sometimes it should be a hill I want to die on but I am too afraid of the conflict.  In this situation it was something really dumb, and I just wanted to be right, well to be right! (not the hill I was willing to go on)

In your next conflict ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on!

Want to keep up with me and my new horse? Check out my articles on Horseclicks.com

 

Contributor Rosette

Investments

Along my journey there have been people who invested in me. Whether they did this intentionally or as part of their DNA they made a difference in me!  One of those people probably doesn’t even realize the impact she made on my life. About 5 years ago I decided I wanted to move into Project management.  I really felt that with my customer service focus and technical experience this would be a great fit for me.

She not only invested in me but she affirmed my dream, telling me that I could do it!  That I would not only be good, but I would be excellent!  It was another 2 years before I realized my dream but now I am securely in my position and looking to take the next step.

You see I had doubts about if I could do this job, and she didn’t even hesitate to say YES! To say you got this!!  So many times people need help believing they can achieve their dreams.  We may feel that we aren’t sure, or question if this is the right dream for them, what if we instead we had faith!  Instead of doubt we said YES!

I know from experience sometimes our doubt isn’t on their ability but on our own insecurities.  What if this person exceeds us?  What if they are better?  You may not want to admit this but dig deep you may find this is actually true!

This week ask your team what their dreams are!! What do they hope to do?  Then tell them they can do it!  Be honest and be strong!! They can reach their goals and you can help them!!

Taking risks

How many times have we made a decision to do something only to either not do it at all or only do it half way because we were scared of the outcome?

Recently a friend of mine posted a message on facebook about how she is trying to justify her job decision.  You see she choose to take a job with a start up where she’s not getting paid. She’s had to work other jobs to pay her bills….

BUT she loves what she’s doing.  She get’s up everyday with a strong sense of purpose and excitement.  She get’s up EXCITED to do her job!  Now I understand that not all of us can make this type of decision as far as our jobs are concerned.  We may have people relying on us and simply taking a job where we don’t get paid isn’t always an option.

However, how often do we simply NEVER make a change because we just are either too afraid or not willing to put in the work to make the change.

You see my friend has had to go back to working in a restaurant, a job she thought she gave up for something in her field.  However, she made a choice, one that was a bit uncomfortable to get to where she wanted to be!

I have been struggling with this lately.  Trying to find the ability to take the risk I want to do what brings me joy!  I want to be like my friend, and I will!

As leaders, it is our job to push our team to take those risks!  Even if it means they leave us!  We want to push them to be better and to do what brings them the most joy!!

Leader to Follower … Leaders Perspective

Leaders, we’ve all had that person on our team who was once a leader and is now a follower on our team.  They may have changed industries, jobs or intentionally taken a step back. Anyway it happened they are now on our team and we know that they were leaders in their previous jobs.

How do we handle this?  It can often seem a bit scary because we may question our own leadership when confronted with someone who was a previous leader especially if they are high energy leaders!

First, acknowledge that they are a leader!  Don’t ignore it, or try to ‘put them in their place’.  Next get them on your side!  Seek their input, get them involved in leadership of the team and other team members!

Essentially USE THEM to your advantage.  Trying to ignore it, or making them feel small will only demean your own leadership!

There maybe times when you have to provide them with negative feedback.  This can be scary if you are not confident in your own leadership.  Seek feedback from other leaders prior to speaking with them and then talk with them as another leader.  Leaders should always be seeking feedback both negative and positive!

Provide the feedback by letting them know the issue and then asking them for their input. Don’t talk at them, instead of saying “you messed up and the client is mad” ask for their feedback.  Let them know you received feedback that the client isn’t happy with a current situation.  Ask how they would handle this in the future. My guess is that they know they messed up and they have already beat themselves up over it.

Asking them how they would handle it in the future will allow them to know that you trust them and will not undermine them as leaders.

It is never easy when leading other leaders, but you can do it! And it will make you a better leader!